A Bad Girl's Lament
by Hyperactive Lioness
Summary: Diana and Caine need some relationship counseling, and during a session, Diana lets slip a little secret... But after all, a bad girl like Diana always has a motive for those things she "lets slip". Just a bit of humor!


**So I haven't really written anything about Diana recently, so when I heard this random Ke$ha song, I just had to do it. And sorry about the pairing; I don't know if anyone's really really strongly against it or anything :P**

**It's set before the FAYZ, in a guidance counselor's office, 'cause we all know them darn Coates kids need some guidance. **

**DISCLAIMER: I don't own "Gone" or the song "A Bad Girl's Lament" by Ke$ha!**

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**A Bad Girl's Lament**

"So, Miss Ladris and Mr. Soren, can you please explain to me why you're here?"

Diana graced the balding, plump guidance counselor with a sneer. Beside her, she could see Caine doing the same thing, and then he spoke up. "You can act as a relationship counselor, am I right?" The counselor, a Mr. Diggan, nodded. "We need some relationship help, apparently."

"Well, let's get right into it, shall we? Diana, how about you explain your situation?"

Diana stood, very over-exaggerated and dramatic, like usual. "I did it," she said, sounding bored, "but I'm sorry." She glanced at Caine fleetingly. "Well, I'm really not that sorry." He graced her with a shocked look, and she restrained herself from sticking her tongue out at him. "Why are you staring at me like that? Gods above, Caine, stop looking at me like that!"

Caine exhaled loudly and looked away, turning his back to her pointedly. She returned her focus to Mr. Diggan.

"Okay, so I did it, but I'm sorry..." She exhaled as well. "But I'm really not. Well... Maybe, it's like..." She caught Caine staring at her again, so she faced him. "It's not you, it's just me, and you know that I love you, baby!" His eyebrows shot up into his dark hair at such an obvious show of affection; rare coming from Diana Ladris. Inwardly, she smirked. She would get out of this yet.

"Miss Ladris?" Mr. Diggan brought the focus back to him. "Could you tell me a little bit about _who _is causing this rift between you and Mr. Soren?" Caine leaned back in his chair. This should be good; no loser could ever one-up _him _for _Diana_. It was basic biology, really.

But her next words made his jaw drop.

"He's just so tempting," Diana mumbled, looking at her feet, enjoying watching Caine squirm. "He's addicting, I'm like an act... I can't help it, I keep going back..." Mr. Diggan leaned forward in his chair. Rarely did any Coates kids show emotion in his office, and he was going to eat it up while he could.

"Really, Diana?" he asked, using her first name to hopefully make her open up more. "Is this in any way your fault?" She raised her head and smirked slowly, being careful to keep her focus on Diggan and not to look at Caine.

"I'm a bad, bad girl, I kissed that boy again," she said quietly, as if telling a secret. "He does things to me that I just can't explain. And yeah, sure, I know better, I promised that I'd quit..."

"Who did you promise?" Diggan cut in. Diana looked up, annoyed.

"Myself, of course. Nobody else could keep me accountable."

"Who is this guy?" Caine suddenly asked, his thin disguise of concern not able to fully mask his anger. Diana smirked and sat down beside him.

"Please forgive me, baby, for I have sinned," she whispered seductively into his ear, and smirked when he couldn't stop a shiver from rushing down his spine. She giggled a bit, enjoying this game, and stood again, placing her hands on Mr. Diggan's desk. "So I did it, but I'm sorry... Well not-- Listen, here's my story. It's just surface; it's so silly. He's so sexy, but that's all, really!" Caine tensed in the chair beside her and she laughed inwardly. Was it this easy to make guys go crazy?

"See, the first time that I met him, he was taken... So I took him. Ever since then, when I see him, I try _so _hard to keep my distance, but he's just so tempting, he's addicting... I'm like an act, I can't help it, I keep giving in..."

"Yes, we went over all of this before," Diggan said semi-impatiently. "But what does this have to do with the relationship that you two share?"

"She's mine!" Caine roared, standing up and knocking all of the papers off of Diggan's desk in rage. "That's what's the matter! All right, Diana, who is this guy? What do you want? I thought you were _mine_?" He raised his hands, palms out, and Diana shot him a warning look.

Caine deflated, sinking back into his chair. Diana allowed herself a small smirk; he was completely under her power.

At that moment, the door to the shrink's office creaked open, and Drake Merwin stepped in. Diana's outward appearance never changed, but inside, she rejoiced. What perfect timing...

"You wanted to see me, doc?" Drake asked, contempt laced in every syllable. Diggan nodded, massaging his temples.

"Diana, Caine, you may go. We will continue this another time." Caine left, but Diana stayed. Diggan glanced up from reorganizing his documents. "Miss Ladris? Is there something you needed to tell me?"

"Nope," she said cheerfully, giving Drake a quick peck on the lips. He winked at her, and the doctor's jaw dropped. "What can I tell you, Diggan? I'm a bad, bad girl." She flounced out of the room, after returning Drake's wink. Diggan composed himself quickly, after all, stranger things have happened at Coates Academy.

"Now then, Mr. Merwin. How many times have I told you, torturing animals is not one of this school's electives..."

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**Okay, so that was a lot of fun. If you didn't fully get what was happening, look up the song or the lyrics to "A Bad Girl's Lament" by Ke$ha and then the story'll hopefully make more sense. :)**

**Review!**

**:Hyperactive Lioness:**


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